I JUST WANT TO SET THE WORLD ON FIRE

Of the last five guys I’ve kissed, I have sucked every one of their dicks.

Not sure how I am finding myself in these situations because last year I casually hooked up with a ton of people and it never got to the getting your dick out stage, but lately it just seems to keep happening.

Maybe I am giving out like sluttier vibes or something.

Actually I don’t even know, but it probably because I haven’t been doing the whole drunk hooking up in clubs thing so much. The last guy I hooked up with was at a house party so I guess there is more opportunity there, and the one before that I was chatting to him in this super casual bar and then we hooked up outside somewhere.

I might not be hooking up with as many people this year as I did last year but the quality is definitely better. Unless I am getting hotter… haha.

On a related note, I turned down sex on Friday night (at the house party) because I wasn’t really feeling it, and it would have been a weird place for it. But I would totally say yes to it now…

I don’t know if anyone reads my tumblr or if anyone does they remember me mentioning that I was totally crushing on/facebook stalking this guy who didn’t know I existed.

Well last night I totally hooked up with him.

And it was really hot and amazing and I am kind of in disbelief that it actually happened because it seems so implausible.

Success!

I totally forgot I had this tumblr. I guess there was stuff I could have updated with but it is not super eventful to share now.

This guy who I am not that in to (because he’s not that cool) asked me to come to this dinner thing with him tonight and I thought I had gotten out of it by coming across disinterested in texts, never answering his calls, and waiting a couple of days to reply to his messages. But in the end I said yes because he put in a lot of effort to get me to come and it’s not like it will be that bad or anything.

Except it’s like 30 people, and the only person I will know is him. And I don’t really even know him. Life would be easier if I were more outgoing…

Things are looking bleak between me and the love of my life aka I am reading way to much into my facebook stalking. So I was just checking out his profile to see what’s up and now we suddenly have an extra mutual friend and he and this other girl I know are know like friends. And the girl I know is tall and blonde and hotter than me.

And this is only an issue because when I was confessing to his friend that I loved him his friend was like you’re totally in because he likes tall, blonde girls. And now he has found a hotter tall blonde girl I basically have no chance.

But I should be having a kinda party at mine on Friday night and then head out so imma try and stalk him then or find someone to replace him with. Except I spent all my money today on a dress and some vodka.

Only the dress is totally cool but it is not sexy at all. So I’m thinking I should have bought something that at least makes me look sexy if I want to have any shot with anyone. Damn me and my quirky dress sensibilities.

Also you know how you do your hair and face like the same way and it always looks good but then all of a sudden today your hair looks bad even though it looks the same as it always did. Why is this happening to meeeeeeeee?!?!?!

I think I am having a breakdown basically.

So the reason I haven’t posted anything in forever is because I died.

Or actually I just forgot. I still have been doing things and have actually left my house in the last month and everything.

I went out on Friday night and I was out for so long that I ended up so wasted. Like I wasn’t going shots shots shots… it was just like 7 hours of consistent drinking. 10pm to 5am or something ridiculous. I got drunk so I forget to check my phone and never knew what the time was.

But I have made slight inroads with the love of my life (who I don’t actually know and don’t actually love).

He’s this guy I see at uni sometimes who I think is hot and one time I told my friend that but was drunk so got a bit dramatic about it and decided he was ‘the love of my life’.

And basically the only time I ever see him (as in with my eyes, not as in see him and talk to him because he doesn’t know I exist, sadly) is at uni events when there is a lot of drinking. And I always thought he had a girlfriend.

I will pause the story here to clarify that I am not actually a stalker (except facebook stalking - that’s totally fine) and haven’t been obsessing about this guy or anything… I seriously see him like once every few months and remember he is hot. It’s totally not creepy and it only slightly seems that way because he is called ‘the love of my life’.

So anyway I know he is friends with this guy who my other friend knows.. and on Friday the friend was there (I had never talked to him before either btw) and I am like ‘you know your friend, I am in love with him. Except he has a girlfriend!’. And he’s all like ‘he doesn’t have a girlfriend’ and he would know because they are friends.

And I mentioned I love him a lot so hopefully he hooks me up and we can live happily ever after.

(Source: lovesugartits)